


For all the World's Possibilities

by AngelQueen



Series: Lantean Grace [4]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Reality, Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, F/M, Fluff, Het, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-11
Updated: 2011-04-11
Packaged: 2017-10-17 23:11:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/182341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelQueen/pseuds/AngelQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Perhaps she should be grateful for what she had.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For all the World's Possibilities

**Author's Note:**

> Fourth story in the _Lantean Grace_ series.
> 
> Disclaimer: SGA does not belong to me.

Elizabeth had lost count of how many times she had been warned about dealing with alternate realities. General O’Neill, Colonel Carter-O’Neill, and many others within the SGC had raised the topic numerous times to her during the final planning stages for the Atlantis mission. She had listened to them all with a patient ear and filed away their advice. The Quantum Mirror wasn't Ancient technology, after all, so there was little chance of her having to deal with anything like it in Atlantis.

Now she was eating her assumptions. Jack was never going to let her live this down when she got home.

This Atlantis was so strange, so… wrong. Aiden Ford wasn’t here because he’d been fed on and had become addicted to the Wraith enzyme, causing him to go on a self-sanctioned mission to destroy the Wraith himself. Jeannie Miller had only briefly visited Atlantis, and did not work at the SGC itself and in close conjunction with the scientists within the city. The city was not protected by two ZPMs, one half-charged and the other almost completely charged. Doctor Jackson was alive, for god’s sake! Alive and in charge of the expedition. _Her_ expedition.

Oh yes, and to top it all off, her alternate self was dead. Or Ascended, according to Doctor Jackson. At least, that’s what nearly everyone in the city unwaveringly believed.

Wrong. It was just so wrong. She wanted to go home, where things were right.

Though, she thought as she stared out at the all too familiar ocean view, she supposed she was luckier than the others. Apparently, this reality was similar enough to her own that temporal Entropic Cascade Failure was not a factor in the work to send her and her people home. Her Rodney was working with the alternate Rodney to get the Ancient device working again, a situation she did not envy the alternate Radek had to endure. Her Ronon seemed content to eye everyone suspiciously, especially his own alternate self, and followed her everywhere, her self-appointed bodyguard. She was left to contemplate the fact that her alternate self was an Ascended being.

Elizabeth sighed. To be completely honest, it was more than just the differences in this reality that bothered her. It was the looks that she received on more than one occasion from various people, the looks of sadness, wistfulness. These people missed her alternate self, very much. Then there was the one presence that was so blaringly absent.

John was still head of the military contingent, which was initially a huge relief. To know that John Sheppard was still a part of Atlantis was rather comforting. But that comfort had quickly faded when it became obvious that John was going out of his way to avoid her whenever possible. He was unfailingly polite and professional in the briefings that they both participated in, but the moment those meetings broke up, he vanished into the city. It was like he was running from her.

It hurt, even though she knew it shouldn’t. He wasn’t her John, just as she wasn’t his Elizabeth. For him, seeing her was probably a painful reminder of the loss of a good friend. He couldn’t know the circumstances of her last conversation with his other self.

He couldn’t know the meaning of the ring that hung on a chain beneath her shirt.

John had given her that ring nearly a month ago, on the third anniversary of the siege. They’d been together since Cowen had abducted him in exchange for handing over Ladon Radiim, the one who had usurped his place as leader of the Genii. Watching John be fed on by a Wraith had been the final straw. She hadn’t let him out of her sight for nearly three days after he came back. She had thought that she was content with their relationship, but the moment she had laid eyes on that ring, Elizabeth had recognized the intense longing in her heart for what it was. She had taken to wearing it on a thin chain around her neck, close to her heart, while they made plans.

But, as it so often went, events conspired against them. Crisis after crisis heaped stress on both of them, until finally, they both blew up. Unfortunately, they had targeted each other. Words of damnation and of separation were the last ones they’d said to one another before an accident in Rodney’s lab had sent the three of them into this alternate reality, leaving their own behind.

“So you like the ocean too?”

Elizabeth jumped and whirled around. She’d been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn’t heard the door to the balcony open, nor had she heard John move out to stand at the railing, a healthy distance away from her. It was a surprise on multiple levels. He had actually come out here while she was present. He had actually gotten past Ronon.

She stared at him blankly for several moments, and then finally nodded. “Yes, I suppose so. It helps me think.”

He didn’t look at her, just kept his gaze out on the city and the water beyond it. “She told me the same thing. Though, oftentimes when she came out here, she got a little maudlin. Someone had to come out here to cheer her up more than once.” His words, however evenly he said them, left little room for her to doubt that he was the one who did just that.

Elizabeth started to look away, but a slight breeze and corresponding tinkling caught her attention. Surprised, she looked up. “Wind chimes?” She asked, surprised.

“Yeah. I got them at a market off-world. They reminded me…” He trailed off, clearly unwilling to say anything further. His gaze remained locked on the chimes and Elizabeth wondered just what significance they had for him. Something like what she felt in regards to her ring maybe?

“What happened?” She blurted. When he looked at her, surprised, she found herself blushing slightly and elaborating. “I mean, what happened to… her? Doctor Jackson told me that she… Ascended, but no one’s said much beyond that.”

John sighed and looked away, his gaze turning downwards toward the northern end of the city. The muscles in his cheek twitched.

“There was an accident. A floor collapsed. She was buried alive. Took us a week to clear the area and get to her body,” he said, his tone stilted and professional. “I… she had her radio with her, and maintained contact with us as we started digging for her. We heard her die.”

Elizabeth couldn’t keep her eyes on his face. Though he revealed nothing, she could literally feel the waves of agony rolling off of him. Her gaze trailed down to his hands, which had a white-knuckled grip on the railing.

“When… when we finally cleared the way, we didn’t find her body,” John continued, more quietly this time. “Instead, there was just this… bright light. Then she appeared. She wanted to say goodbye. She traveled through the city and went through the Gate.”

What could she say to him after that? What could anyone hope to say?

What if her John had been forced to go through that? What if she had seen that happen? Elizabeth shuddered slightly, suddenly feeling slightly nauseous. Out of the corner of her gaze, she could see him turn towards her slightly and she forced herself to meet his eyes.

If she lived a thousand years, she would never be able to fully and adequately describe what she saw in those eyes. They were the exact same eyes of the man she loved, of the man who had given her the ring beneath her shirt. And yet, they were also the eyes of a complete stranger.

Still, if she knew anything at all, then it was that this Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard had loved Doctor Elizabeth Weir very, very much, and he still did.

What had she and her John been arguing over before she had been brought here? Elizabeth couldn't even remember now. It must not have been important. Now she felt like a selfish wretch. She still had him, still loved him. He still had her, loved her.

They had been spared this. Why were they wasting their gift?

She took a deep, shaky breath. “I…” she started, “I don’t think there is anything I could say. ‘I’m sorry’ just sounds completely inadequate and -”

Her voice came to a sudden halt when John’s hand hesitantly reached out and brushed her cheek. Stroking it gently, he murmured, “You don’t have to say anything, Elizabeth. It… She’ll come back someday. Doctor Jackson did.” He let his hand drop and he smiled wryly. “And I imagine she’ll do it with much more style than appearing naked among some old ruins somewhere.”

Her laughter was instinctual and immediate, and for a brief moment, she could almost forget her current predicament. They fell into a silence that was not exactly comfortable (she doubted they could ever truly achieve that), but it was content enough to allow them to relax.

It did not last. John suddenly stiffened and his hand came up to his ear, activating his radio. “This is Sheppard,” he said, his earlier laughter gone from his voice. He listened for several moments as she watched, then he nodded. “Right, we’ll be right there.” Another click and the radio deactivated.

His eyes settled on hers and he told her, “The McKays think they’ve fixed the device. Zelenka’s requesting that we get you and Ronon down to the lab before they kill each other over figured out first.” He held out his hand, gesturing for her to precede him back into the control room.

Nodding, Elizabeth moved forward. Just before she reached the door, however, she stopped, turned, and stared at him. “Thank you,” she said simply. She then went inside before he could overcome his obvious confusion enough to ask her what she meant.

She didn’t think she’d be able to explain it to him. It was enough for her to thank him. He’d helped her more than he’d ever understand.

She wished him well. Now it was time for her to go home. Perhaps there was still time for her to rectify her own mistakes.


End file.
